Recently in Relationships

Why Be A SwingerI was out to lunch with my boss and a group of consultants working on a project we were doing to try to dramatically expand our business reach. (Unfortunately the business is not swing-related.) One of them brought up how much trouble they'd gotten into recently when he checked out another girl without first being wary of his wife's gaze upon him. The four other men sitting at the table gave their harrumphs in approval and agreement and grumpiness at the very idea, but also the knowledge that should their eyes have been caught wandering, they'd get the same fight.

It's an old story. It's been the basis of a Home Improvement episode, and god knows how many other schlub-with-hot-wife sitcoms. It's the norm, the social contract. Man checks out girl who aren't his wife, wife makes a big deal about it. Only that's not the case for me.

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Safer SexLook, we all understand that sex is good, right? It makes us feel good, brings us closer to people, it relieves stress, gives us a reason to get in shape, it feels good, provides pleasure, and is tactilely enjoyable (yes, I know the last three are the same thing, but that's the MAIN reason we like it, right?). And we all understand that we should be safe about sex, right? I won't go listing all the good reasons for safe sex, because they aren't nearly as fun to think about. Safer Sex is like recycling, in that we pretend we don't mind the extra effort, and a lot of us pretend that we practice is more than we do, and practice it less than we know we should.

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openrel.jpgAs someone who has been in an open relationship for over six years, and who wrote a book about it, and who writes a blog about it, and who talks about it nearly all the time, I am often asked,"how does it work?" The short answer is, "it works well." The long answer is, well, really long. Currently, there is very little work involved in keeping our lives happy and sane and open to good people and fun times. All the real hard work of our open relationship came at the beginning in a series of conversations we had before anyone started touching anyone else's anything.

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biopic_john.jpgJohn Stark unapologetically explains why your, yes YOUR casual sex partnerships continually end in disaster and he wants you to stop blaming the well intentioned institution of the Fuck Buddy.

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cosmo.jpgRecently I read an article that made me angry, "Five Traits in a Mate That are Not Deal Breakers". The premise of this article is that many women have standards for men that are ultimately not helpful in finding a marriage partner. This premise seems ok. Oh, look at that, the author wrote a whole book on the subject. Interesting, let's see what traits she thinks aren't deal breakers.

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Kidder Kaper

kidder@sexisfun.net


Kidder has been theorizing and writing about human sexuality since 1993, when he began work on his primary goal: "Teaching the world to be unafraid to enjoy sex."


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Laura Rad

laura@sexisfun.net


Laura Rad has been educating herself and others about sexuality for over seven years. You can find Laura every week chatting with the crew of the Sex is Fun Podcast.


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Gay Rick

rick@sexisfun.net


Gay Rick is an HIV Educator and Co-Host on the Sex is Fun podcast. He is also a certified Hepatitis C Educator.


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Coochie

coochie@sexisfun.net


The in-house audio engineer.


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John Stark

JohnStarkWriting@gmail.com


John writes a blog titled We Sleep Together. He is in his twenties, and has been in an open relationship for six and some years.


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Walrus

emailthewalrus@gmail.com


The Walrus is an avid SIF listener, married, and recently became a proud father. He spends his days working in IT, but has always been interested in pushing the boundaries of traditional and conservative thoughts sexually.


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Cooper Beckett

cooper@lifeontheswingset.com


Cooper Beckett's life isn't like other people's. When he's not writing or podcasting at Life on the Swingset, he's living it up with his wife Marilyn as evangelical swingers, spreading the good word that "sharing is caring."


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Beth Swings

bethswings@hotmail.com


Beth is an English rose, happily married and happily swinging in the UK and abroad. She has a full-time vanilla career which she loves. Beth counts sex and naturism among her many extra-curricular passions in life.


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Mari Rose

marie@cakesandcuffs.com


Mari Rose and her family live in Colorado, love life and do their best to maintain balance and sanity and in this crazy, sexy, beautiful world.


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Lorax

lorax@frivinc.com


Lorax runs everything behind the scenes at Sex is Fun. If she's not maintaining the website, gathering articles, or directing art you can find her wakeboarding or snowboarding with her husband.