I've shared a lot of love with my prostate massagers and stimulators over the years. As one of the leading straight male sex educators who's always been more than happy to talk about my adventures with butt play, without so much as a fleeting hesitation, you'd think that the companies who make these products would be fighting each other for a spot in the cafeteria at my table. Alas, this isn't how it's worked out at all. The leaders of this particular toy industry have often been short-sighted in their design and quite cowardly in their marketing. Sometimes it seems as though they simply don't understand their market and other times it is as if their public relations department is just completely incompetent.
Their are two companies that I credit with supplying this particular toy and though I've written and spoken positively about all of their products, they are remarkably slow to send demos, or even get back to me on questions that I have about their product lines. Seriously! It is like pulling teeth to get them to send something out for a review and I'll tell you from experience that this is very rare in the adult sex toy industry. At the AVN conference, I met with one of these manufacturers and asked quite directly why they aren't talking to us. They blamed it on changes in personnel and promised to be "Johny-on-the-spot" with us in the future. Yeah, I'll believe that when I see it.
Aneros, the Pioneers of the Industry
The first toy that I ever dared shove up my ass came from the painfully myopic company known as Aneros. When they began, they marketed their product as a medical device, completely ignoring the pleasure potential for their creation. Of course we, the men who knew better were more than vocal about the white knuckled experiences we were having with their product and eventually they caught on marketing it only to gay men. Poor fools. Only a company with bifocals this cloudy would ever set their sights so low as to chase a market that is only 6% of the potential and further stigmatize their own creation so that no straight man would ever dare give one a whirl.
With help from sex educators like myself, we slowly lifted this stigma and made our best efforts to assure straight men and their partners that trying an Aneros wasn't going to make them leave their families and begin taking up lifetime memberships at the nearest bathhouse. Aside from their failures in marketing, Aneros also seemed quite ignorant about how to best to use their product. The manual that shipped with the original models was complete junk and told men who used the pearl-white device to avoid touching their penis to avoid prematurely ejaculating. It was almost as if Aneros didn't want men to enjoy their experience with the toy. Every sex educator worth their salty sex juices knows that exploring any new erogenous zone requires adequate arousal or the pleasure connection will never be made. So I rewrote their manual and offered it to them for free. Of course, they never used it, heck, they never even linked to it.
Another flaw with Aneros was the basic design of their taint stimulator which was shaped like a plastic cutlery fork and felt about as uncomfortable. I sent them countless letters telling them to change this design to something that would, you know, feel good. For years these cries from their user base went completely ignored and I was forced to just tell users of the toy to put a cotton ball between their skin and the knife-like taint wand to make the toy bearable to use.
Nexus Range, the new contender
Just as I was about to give up on Aneros, they released a new toy called the Progasm and it appeared as though they'd fixed their flaws and replaced the poky perineum stimulator with a small round plastic ball. So proud of themselves for improving the toy that they also decided to put one on the backside as well which they claimed stimulated the Aneros coined "K-Spot." After making me wait several months to send me one, I tried it, and yes I liked it, but their delay cost them as I was already being swooned by the new kid on the block who invaded the male butt market from across the pond.
Nexus Range knew what they were doing and knew who they were making products for and were not ashamed to admit it. In one giant box they sent me everything they had at the time and I happily tried them all. I can even honestly say that I liked them all too, but there was one toy in there that became my new favorite. They lovingly called it the Nexus Excel and it was as though it were created specifically for my ass. The pressure it applied to my prostate was pure pleasure and instead of poking my taint with a piece of sharp plastic, this toy made love to the sensitive spot between my anus and testicles with a large steel ball bearing. I fell in love with the toy, and it made its way into my routine like no other toy had in the past.
Inspired, I wrote articles about the Excel, featured it on the show and gave it several awards. I told all of my listeners to ignore the short-sided Aneros and give these Europeans a whirl. With excitement I watched as my favorite retailers picked up the toys and began selling them to their voracious customers. With pride I received many letters from many men and couples that absolutely loved the experiences they were having with the Nexus Range line-up and with a smug sense of purpose I punched myself in the shoulder for doing right by my audience for helping them meet up with a company that had created products really got the job done.
From time to time I'd head back to the Nexus Range website and was delighted to see that their success hadn't made them complacent. Each month I saw new interesting products that wet my curiosity and each month I wrote my contacts and asked to try the new toys. Each letter was kindly received telling me that a new model was on my way which they hoped I enjoyed and looked forward to my review. But nothing ever arrived. So I wrote again, and again they promised it was on the way. Months had gone by and I'd almost given up hope when a box arrived, stamped with her majesties' postmarks. With excitement I tore open the box to find the exact same products they'd sent me last time.
While Gay Rick was pleased as punch to get his hands on his own set of Nexus products, I was quite let down that they'd completely screwed up the shipment. I wrote again and again and eventually they got back to me asking if I'd like to try something completely new, as though it were the first time we'd corresponded. I was starting to wonder if the entire shipping department could see well enough through the pot-smoke to actually get the job done and doubted highly that I'd actually see something useful arrive in time for our Holiday Buyer's Guide. Though they totally missed the deadline, they did ship out series of new toys and again one of them was absolutely fantastic. The Nexus G-Rider is a vibrating butt toy that absolutely blew my mind, keeping me on the edge of orgasm and dripping pre-cum like a fountain for nearly an hour. On show #227 I sung its praises and I'm certain that I'd have awarded it with a Best of the Best in the 2010 Holiday Buyers Guide if it hadn't been for one terrible disaster.
About two weeks into my love affair with the Nexus G-Rider the vibrator stopped working. I wrote the company and asked for a replacement but of course Ringo or whoever is responsible for correspondence was apparently starting a band or eating crumpets with the rest of the staff and I never got a response. Not too much longer after I told my whole audience to go out and buy one for themselves did I begin hearing they were also experiencing vibrator failures and not getting help from the company who was responsible for under-engineering their creation.
I felt responsible and I felt as though Nexus had really let me down. When I give a glowing review, I put my name on the line, and they fucked me. Interestingly enough, I tried going back to using my Excel, since my G-Rider was on the blink and the plastic snapped off in my hand as I was placing the ball bering inside the plastic housing. That was some pretty well planned obsolescence. So with my two favorite toys busted, I sunk my head and wrote back to Aneros, hoping they'd finally pulled their heads out of their asses and were ready to once again compete for the market that they abandoned in the slums like a small blond boy asking for more. Their response was peaceful, a bit like I would imagine what an astronaut would hear in the vacuum of space.
Perhaps if we meet in person...
Months later out of nowhere, I received an email from Nexus Range who tells me they finds my "enthusiasm invigorating" and would like to meet while we're at the AEE conference in Las Vegas. Hopeful, I tell them I'd love to meet and talk about their product line. They tells me they're sending me a new product to demo and is interested in getting involved in the show and magazine. With renewed faith, I begin to imagine a future together where Nexus and Sex is Fun supply the world with the best prostate toys and education the world has ever seen. I am optimistic and I my imagination swims with possibilities.
A few weeks later, no toy has arrived and the conference is merely days away. Nexus emails telling me they won't be at AEE because they, "have enough representation out there..." To the conference I go looking for all of this representation and found none. Actually, I saw not one Nexus product anywhere at the conference. Not one!
I did visit the Aneros booth where I saw their newest offering. They call it the Aneros Vise which appears to be a $140 tribute to the Nexus G-Rider. The external shape is similar to the Progasm with the softtouch silicon of the G-Rider and an insertable vibrator which looks quite a bit tougher than the G-Rider. After seeing the new design, I congratulate them on catching up to the competition and providing their users with a design that I'd been begging them to create for nearly half-a-decade. I then explain to them how frustrating it is to be an advocate for their products when they simply don't listen to feedback on their designs much less maintain any correspondence with sex educators or the press. They apologized, assured me they'd take an increased interest in their users, would resume sending us demo units and sent me on my way with a couple of business cards. Before, I left I showed them that I featured their product in my book. They thanked me like a john thanks a whore for not leaving lipstick marks on their collar after conducting business in a bathroom stall.
When I got back to the office after the show, I had my underlings write Aneros for samples and was amazed to find a package from Nexus on my desk. I opened it and found that Chloe indeed shipped out a Ridge Rider as promised. I tried it. It isn't anything special. It is essentially a ribbed version of the G-Rider with a similar vibe which I expect should cease working within the month should I continue using it.
In reality, I've not seen either of these companies produce any great innovations in a very long time. They both seem to just be matching each other, feature for feature and doing a very half-assed job of meeting the requirements of educators, the press, and retailers. It is almost as if they know there isn't anything else out there and their customers are forced to choose one or they other so they've got a 50% shot of landing the sale without actually going above and beyond.
It is time for a new contender
What this market needs is a 3rd competitor who's not afraid to actually innovate the market. NJoy could be this 3d competitor as they make a fantastic prostate stimulator out of stainless steel that really hits the spot.
If another company wants to come in and wipe the floor with the competition, I'm going to give you the goods to do it. Are you ready? The ultimate advance that would completely take over as far as prostate stimulators go would be a motion device that actually rubs the prostate for you and never complains about getting a sore finger. If you can figure out how to put a decent sized nub, about the size of a finger tip on the prostate stimulator and make it slide up and down about 1/2" to 1" on the surface of the prostate, you'd have a winner and it would be the greatest innovation to male pleasure products since the advent of the fake vagina.
Me, I'm putting my money on the Germans or perhaps the Swedes for this one as only they have the engineering capability to pull this off. If you need a design consultant and a beta team you can count on me. I'm ready for this stagnation to end and I'll sign on with any company that shows the chops and imagination to actually do something different, and promises to back up their product with at least the slightest bit of interest in marketing it to those who most wish to give it a try.
My name is Kidder Kaper and you can reach me via email, telephone, or IM.
Write the Author: Kidder Kaper