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VibratorSo you bought a clitoral vibrator and it turns out it didn't rock your world.  Don't spend time being sad that the toy everyone said was a sure thing was a letdown in your panties, channel your inner MacGyver and use these tips as resources to help make that vibe a winner.

-Lube it up
Lube makes a world of difference with vibration.  I'm not kidding.  Sometimes it really is that simple.

-Power Down
Sometimes people find that their toy's specific vibration is too fast or intense to lead to orgasm and instead ends up "numbing out" their clit.  The good news is that there are easy ways to take the power down a notch.  All you have to do is put something cushy between yourself and your vibrator.  Sometimes a layer of panties is enough to do the trick.  Sometimes your thick winter blanket or a towel is necessary.  This also adds texture to your vibrating experience.  You may find yourself growing partial to soft cotton sheets, silk nightgowns, or a woolly blanket.

-Add the human touch
Many of us are used to masturbating with our hands.  The feel of a vibrator can be foreign and difficult to get used to.  So try going back to a feeling your clit is familiar with...put your hand on your clit and your vibrator on top of your hand.  Ta Da!!!  Instant vibrating fingers!  Using friends' hands can also be fun.

Ok, you hated your vibrator.  How many times did you try it?  Once?!?!  So it wasn't love at first buzz;  that doesn't mean the two of you can't build a beautiful relationship over time.  Most of the time people need 2-5 tries with a toy before their brains and bodies figure out the best way to use it.

-Warm up to it
One of the great let downs of clitoral vibrators is that, contrary to what you may have been told, they actually don't do all the work for you.  Sure, there is the occasional magical person who orgasms at the slightest touch of vibration, but for most of us the reality is that we still need foreplay and warm up before we get to that orgasm spot.  Use your vibe in conjunction with all the other methods you've developed for masturbation or partner play.  Vibrate while reading erotica or looking at porn.  Try vibration after masturbation with your hand, or being touched by a partner.  Use your vibrator on other parts of your body (nipples, belly, inner thighs, your vulva) as foreplay.  Once your body is nice and warmed up you might find that vibration feels a lot sexier.

-Use it on your ass
Who said your clitoris should get to have all the fun?  I mean sure, it is a clitoral vibrator, but don't let the description of the toy box you in.  See if you like vibration on your anus and the area around it.  One word of caution: Do not insert your vibrator or any other toy into your ass unless the toy has a flared base.  You want to make sure you will be able to get your toy out again.  (See my ass toy article for more info)

-Exchange with a friend
If you have bought a toy made of non-porous materials (hard plastic, silicone, glass or acrylic) you can sterilize it and give it to a friend.  Your sad purchase can be someone else's lucky day.  If this plan works properly your friend will feel obligated to give you any toys they buy that end up not working for them.  If you have a community of sex positive friends, have a bunch of people bring their sterilized toys for a swap of misfit toys.

I know, I know.  Waiting is never fun.  But the fact is our bodies and sexual responses change over time.  This is due to lots of things; hormones, change in partners, the general impermanence of all things.  The why really doesn't matter when the outcome is that the vibrator that doesn't work for you today may end up working for you in a month, or a year, or in a year and then not for four months when you are really stressed and then it starts working again.  Bottom line, if you have already paid the money and you can't trade with a friend, stick it in the bottom drawer for a rainy day and consider it an investment in your future.

Write the Author: Laura Rad

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Kidder Kaper

Kidder has been theorizing and writing about human sexuality since 1993, when he began work on his primary goal: "Teaching the world to be unafraid to enjoy sex."


Laura Rad

Laura Rad has been educating herself and others about sexuality for over seven years. You can find Laura every week chatting with the crew of the Sex is Fun Podcast.


Gay Rick

Gay Rick is an HIV Educator and Co-Host on the Sex is Fun podcast. He is also a certified Hepatitis C Educator.



The in-house audio engineer.


John Stark

John writes a blog titled We Sleep Together. He is in his twenties, and has been in an open relationship for six and some years.



The Walrus is an avid SIF listener, married, and recently became a proud father. He spends his days working in IT, but has always been interested in pushing the boundaries of traditional and conservative thoughts sexually.


Cooper Beckett

Cooper Beckett's life isn't like other people's. When he's not writing or podcasting at Life on the Swingset, he's living it up with his wife Marilyn as evangelical swingers, spreading the good word that "sharing is caring."


Beth Swings

Beth is an English rose, happily married and happily swinging in the UK and abroad. She has a full-time vanilla career which she loves. Beth counts sex and naturism among her many extra-curricular passions in life.


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Mari Rose and her family live in Colorado, love life and do their best to maintain balance and sanity and in this crazy, sexy, beautiful world.



Lorax runs everything behind the scenes at Sex is Fun. If she's not maintaining the website, gathering articles, or directing art you can find her wakeboarding or snowboarding with her husband.