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handjob_big.jpgIn a world with things like orgies, fucking machines, and furries, handjobs can seem a little, well, tame.  With no insertion, no equipment, and little need for things like safe words or tarp-covered floors, many look at hand sex as a jumping off point, something that one does in high school in the front of a car older than yourself; something that one does until they start doing something better.

I submit to you for your humble consideration that handjobs are not only wonderful in spite of their simplicity, but because of it.  With a low STD/STI risk and a "it was  a million-to-one shot doctor!" risk of pregnancy, getting jacked off can be a lot of fun without a lot of worry.

 There are good reasons why we experimented with hand sex in our parent's basements before most everything else.  Hand sex can be a lot safer than intercourse, a lot less intimate than oral sex, and far more successful than dry humping.

There's no reason to leave this little trick in the bag.  It can be as hot as you want it to be, and if you don't think handjobs feel that good, well, without giving you names and phone numbers that would prove you wrong, you're wrong.  Great sex happens in the head, and anyone who tells you otherwise isn't thinking enough about it to be worth your time.  Great sex is different in every head, but handjobs are versatile, and can be wrapped into whatever context most pleases you.  Beyond context, great sex is just equal parts enthusiasm and lubrication.  

Don't go confusing your teenage jerk-offs to adult handjobs.  It's a whole new thing, and worth doing well.


Giving Good Hand:

Like Go, handjobs take only a few minutes to learn, but a lifetime to master.  Well, not really, but there is a simple premise to start with, and as much complexity as you feel like adding. So, let's start simple.  You may imagine you can just grab a dick and go to town, and you are mostly right, except one crucial omission:  You didn't lube it!

Can you lube a dick, then just grab it and go to town?  Well, in a word, yes.  In two words, yes, absolutely.  Doing so will likely give you your intended results (an erection to do other things with, or an ejaculation to be proud of), and can probably get you there pretty quickly.  Results vary with every dick and every hand, of course, but most of the time, you rub a dick enough with enough lube on it, and something's gonna happen.  Still, if handjobs were an exersize show, we'd still be at low-impact here, sitting out the push-ups.  If we were swimming, we'd be in the shallow end with water wings.  If we were... well... you get the idea.  Let's ramp it up.

One easily fixable problem to take those ho-hum-handjobs to the next level is that when you grab a dick, don't actually GRAB a dick.  It can be helpful to have your hand covering as much skin as possible, but the penis will stay up by itself (hopefully).  You don't need to grip it so much as you need to slide your fingers along it.  Friction is why this feels good, but it takes a very small amount of friction to feel good.  When your hand moves up and down, it shouldn't take the skin up and down with it.  Images of a grabby handprint on my penis are making me uncomfortable, so I'm going to move on.  The other easily fixable level-two problem is speed.  You may have watched the owner of this penis finish himself on occasion and seen him do so with blinding speed.  Do not emulate that speed, or the focus on the head.  Start slow, stroke the whole thing, then season to taste.

The deep end.  The deep end is full of crazy tricks and twists and aiming games.  Pick your favorite depository of free porn online and look up handjobs, find the ones that seem sexy to you, and try out a trick or two.  You can get info like that all over the place, but the deep end is not as much about just the right touch in just the right way.  The deep end isn't about complex touching so much as it's about complex context.  There's that word again.  You've added lube and skill in levels one and two, and now it's time for some earnest (or earnestly imagined) enthusiasm.  A twist is nice, but a twist with a moan is even better.  To give a great, expert, mind-blowing handjob, you need to be committed to it.  It cannot look or feel like a chore, or like a favor, or like settling for something good enough for now.  If you give a handjob like there's nothing in the world you'd rather do, the receiver will forget everything else in the world.


Getting Good Hand:

We'll assume that you have greatly pleased whoever is touching your penis, or are about to.  We'll assume that you have not pressured them into touching you, haven't whined about "just" getting a handjob or anything dumb like that.  There are few times in life where no complaints are appropriate, and times when someone is focusing all their energy on getting you off account for most of those times.

The physical aspects to getting a good handjob are easy.  Sit, stand, lay, or kneel wherever you are.  Get your penis touched.  Enjoy.  Oh, and don't put your hand on the head of whoever's touching you and try to push them down.  That's lame.  Getting good handjobs (thereby qualifying to get more good handjobs) is more a question of etiquette.  The trick is that etiquette changes from partner to partner.  You know what that means, right?  Talking.  If giving good hand boils down to enthusiasm, getting it boils down to communication.

You don't need to sit down with a notary public and make a list of everything allowed and not, but if you keep pointing your cock at your partner's eyes, and they keep pointing it at their chest, you've got to listen before they have to say something out loud.  A moan here or there when your partner does something you like can go a long way, but don't be afraid to ask for what you like.  I can almost guarantee you that the person giving you a handjob isn't doing it so you don't feel good.  They want to get you off, and will almost surely thank you for making their job easier by making their job better.


Write the Author: John Stark

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Much more upbeat than the last column... love your writing, thanks for contributing! :)

Thx John!

I love handjobs, and I love your post.

In your "level 2" of giving handjobs, you write that "When your hand moves up and down, it shouldn't take the skin up and down with it.". While this is probably true for most americans, as most are circumcised, it is not necessarily true for those, that are uncircumcised. When I masturbate, or receive a handjob, I like the skin being moved up and down, as direct stimulation of the head is almost unbearable, because it is usually too sensitive.

This of course can be a good thing and a bad thing, depending on the handler of the affair.. ;)

I once received an amazing blow-job, during which the girl completely concentrated on the head directly, which was at the same time very pleasurable, and too intense! I probably acted like a very sensitive girl getting eaten out by a guy that is only concentrating on her clit with lots of pressure. I bucked my hips and while still wanting the stimulation, I also tried to get away.. :P The girl didn't let up though and I had the most incredible orgasm I ever had. To the point of a tingling sensation all over, and especially in my hands and fingers. It was incredible! Maybe that's even what you call a full-body-orgasm?! :)


Being uncircumcised has another benefit as well. While lube of any kind, be it simple lotion or top of the shelf water- or silicon-based lube, feels great, and adds much to the experience of a handjob and during masturbation, it is not necessary when you can move the skin up and down and not directly touch the head (there is also some natural lubrication going on between the foreskin and the head). The stimulation is still totally sufficient to easily achieve orgasm. So, as far as I know, neither me nor any of my friends usually lube up, except on "special occasions" when I want to give myself a treat. Lube is just a lot messier and more to clean up.


Talking about friction, in my experience, this of course only works with lube. With an uncircumcised dick and no lube, you have to apply a certain pressure, to move the skin up and down and through this, indirectly stimulate the head (by creating friction between the foreskin and the head). This way, the head can take a lot more pressure, much like a sensitive clit being stimulated through the hood maybe. So I sometimes like receiving a handjob with lots of pressure. I have not met a girl yet, that was strong enough to use so much pressure, that it would be unpleasurable (or even hurt). So no one has to be afraid of putting on too much pressure, at least for me, as long as no fingernails dig into the skin.. ;) A light grip, or when I feel like it a firm one, is usually what I, and probably most uncircumcised men, desire.

When using lube, friction is the way to go! Having a foreskin allows for a firmer grip in this case as well, as long as the head stays protected.
It is possible though, to use one hand, to pull down the skin on the dick by grabbing the shaft a couple of inches from its base or so and sliding it down. This way you can play a little with the balls, or just grab them in the same hand, if you can handle them at the same time.. ;) Doing this, exposes the head, making direct stimulation and masturbation-techniques like on circumcised dicks possible. But not everyone can take this, so be sure to use lots of lube and probably even less pressure/friction than Josh described.


Of course every dick is different and I can only claim experience with my own junk. Some circumcised dicks might just be as or more sensitive as/than mine is, and the same is true for uncircumcised ones. Some might be even more sensitive, while others might be less so than “the average” circumcised dick.


But what should be true for every man is, as John described, the importance of the context of the handjob. A very enthusiastic girl with her hands on my dick and a moan in her throat will usually give me a better orgasm and a more enjoyable handjob-experience, even if she does not have the “perfect” technique. A much better one, than a girl could, that knows exactly what kind of touch and movement I want at that moment, but applies it with a frown on her face and an attitude of “let’s finally get it over with”.
I am much more likely willing, to want to have more experiences of this kind with the enthusiastic girl, and it is easy enough to teach her the handjob-techniques I like best (if she needs them), making her “perfect-handjob-girl” (what a superpower that would be!! ^^), than I would be willing, to get the frowning girl, to like giving me handjobs (if that would even be possible).
Which exact context each man likes (hey, maybe he likes being frowned at) you need to find out through trial and error, if you want to do it the hard way, or through simple conversation. There are more kinksters among us than most would think, and they like all kinds of scenarios, so find out if your guy would rather be humiliated than moaned at! ;)

I wanted to give a little extension of John’s article to the uncircumcised minority (at least in the US) with this! :) Great if you like it and it can help out some!


Have fun giving and receiving hopefully ever better handjobs! :D

That’s it for now from Germany!

XB

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