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Bwarm Massage CandleWho doesn't love a massage?  The feeling of relaxing into another person's touch, the opportunity to loosen up muscles that are causing you tension and pain, the blissful state of drool-inspiring mindlessness.  Massage is a great way to relax and get into a sexual mood after a stressful day.  It is a wonderful way to connect physically with your partner even if it isn't a good time for sexual intercourse.  Massage can be sexual touch without the pressure to perform. Seriously! Who doesn't love a massage?  But massage can be even better when you use massage oil candles.

These candles are made of soy and other oils that melt at a low temperature.  When you light them they burn just like normal candles, but the oil that pools at the top is the perfect temperature and consistency to pour on your partner's body and use for massage. 

Why do massage candles make the massage that much better? Candles set the mood.  Maybe you are an amazing person that can relax with neon lights flashing in your face and the next door neighbor's horrible cat wailing to be let in, but for me, nothing says, "relax" like dim lighting and good smells.  The candle also provides warmth.  Instead of waiting for hands and bodies to warm up half way through the massage, you can add warmth right away with fire-heated liquid oil.  The oil also helps your hands glide easily over your partner's body and will soften their skin. 

Massage oil can work as lube in some situations.  You need to be smart about it since oils are not compatible with latex safer sex barriers and some people prefer not to use oils vaginally (see my lube article for more info).  But massage oil is great for hand jobs, rubbing on breasts, and anal play between fluid bonded partners.  Finally, candles add a touch of surprise and novelty to the massage experience.  While any massage is a good massage, how much more fun is it when you know that your partner bought a massage candle with the thought of rubbing oil all over you? Knowing your partner thinks about touching you and wants to give you the best experience possible can be a tremendous aphrodisiac.

Smitten Kitten Massage CandleWhen using the candles for the first time, remember that they need time for the oil to liquefy.  Light the candle right away and use it for ambiance while the top layer melts.  By the time you are ready to pour it on your partner, you will have a nice layer of oil melted and ready.  You should always test the candle on yourself before your partner by first pouring it in your hand. Depending on the melting point of the oil, the candle might run hotter or cooler.  It is important to know the oil is a good temperature before pouring it on your partner.  One fun trick is to change the height at which you are holding the candle.  The higher you hold the candle over someone's body, the more air the oil passes through on the way down, and the cooler it will be.  If the person you are massaging is sensitive to heat, hold the candle high. It can be fun to play with this sensation and occasionally hold the candle closer so that the oil is hotter.  If the person you are massaging makes any kind of "too hot" noises, immediately rub the oil in a larger area over their skin.  This distributes the sensation, providing intensity without actually burning your partner.  It can be a great sensation game to pour the oil on hot, then smooth the heat away by quickly rubbing the oil into your partner.

While massage oil candles generally require a partner (it can be difficult to reach your own back) this is an activity that can be sexual or just companionable.  You can use massage oil candles with your latest hot thing and have it lead to rowdy jumping-on-the-bed sex.  Or, if you have a friend you feel comfortable with, you can arrange a night of watching bad TV and trading massages.  In a similar way, massage oil candles can be used in activities that fall anywhere on the spectrum of vanilla to down-right dirty.  Give your partner a relaxing massage to ease their stress away before getting comfy in the missionary position.  Try a fun and flirty game of "tell me what you want massaged next" or "guess how hot the oil will be".  Or get kinky with your partner tied down and blindfolded as you see how hot they can really take it.

These candles come in unscented and scented varieties.  It is a good idea to read the ingredient label with your partner and make sure that no one has an allergy to any of the ingredients.  Spot testing the wax on the inside of the wrist is a great trick for those of us with sensitive skin. There are lots of different varieties out there, so find one you like and start massaging.

Buy Massage Candles at our Sponsors:
Bwarm Soy Massage Candles at Great Sex Games
Smitten Kitten Massage Candles at Smitten Kitten

Write the Author: Laura Rad

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Kidder Kaper

Kidder has been theorizing and writing about human sexuality since 1993, when he began work on his primary goal: "Teaching the world to be unafraid to enjoy sex."


Laura Rad

Laura Rad has been educating herself and others about sexuality for over seven years. You can find Laura every week chatting with the crew of the Sex is Fun Podcast.


Gay Rick

Gay Rick is an HIV Educator and Co-Host on the Sex is Fun podcast. He is also a certified Hepatitis C Educator.



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John writes a blog titled We Sleep Together. He is in his twenties, and has been in an open relationship for six and some years.



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