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Cowboy.jpgMuch to the dismay of my growling stomach, we're lying naked in bed with one another. It's Sunday and you'll have to go home tonight. The windows are open and the wind in the trees lulls us in and out of sleep. The thought of unraveling from your torso seems impossible. Your breath and heartbeat are just too soothing.

But suddenly I remember - there's a gourmet, dark-chocolate treat hiding beneath my bed. I unwrap my arms from around your chest, bend backwards awkwardly, drop my arm down the side of the bed, and begin a frantic search for a perfectly square box. Metal butt plugs clang against each other as I rummage blindly by touch.

You smirk in confusion, knowing that my under-the-bed searches always provide unexpected surprises that more than entertain you. The black box slightly confuses you. Why is it sealed with a sticker? And you're even more befuddled as I open it to reveal a pile of confetti covering the unseen toy.

When I finally pull out the contents, you're uncertain. It's chocolate. It's in the shape of a top hat. What the hell is it for?

I smile deviously, pull down the sheets and trace your hip with the tip of my tongue. It dawns on you suddenly that the chocolate is not for you to eat. It's for me. And as you get hard, you can't help but chuckle to yourself. Your internal chuckle turns into riotous laughter when I place the Chocolate Party Hat Top Hat on your cock. It looks a bit ridiculous and I laugh with you at your dapperly dressed dick.

As I nibble the edge, you're afraid your erection will go away. However, the laughter we shared is still sitting in your throat and your smile hasn't gone away. I love that smile. You feel relaxed and playful. We're close enough that I can put a comical, chocolate dick-hat on you and make it sexy. Your balls churn in appreciation.

Viking.jpgAs the rim of the hat disappears, my tongue comes into contact with your shaft. You tense when I start to bite parts of the hat but it adds to the excitement. The hat is starting to melt. It is dripping down your cock but my tongue cleans the drops up before they get to your pelvis. My lips are coated in dark chocolate. There's that smile, again.

You always found it ridiculous when you saw food play in porn but your throbbing erection tells me perhaps you've changed your mind. I think you may want a taste so I kiss you, deeply. As your tongue rolls over my lips, you're surprised at the quality of the chocolate - novelties like this usually taste disgusting at best. The Cock of the Walk Hat could be served as a dessert in a five-star restaurant. Probably not on the platter I'm eating off of, though.

When the hat is finally gone, you see it has left streaks of the Belgian chocolate along your delicious length. My hunger hasn't gone away. I'll make sure to clean up.

I'm still hungry. Are you?

Buy Chocolate Party Hats

Write the Author: Gay Rick

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Kidder Kaper

Kidder has been theorizing and writing about human sexuality since 1993, when he began work on his primary goal: "Teaching the world to be unafraid to enjoy sex."


Laura Rad

Laura Rad has been educating herself and others about sexuality for over seven years. You can find Laura every week chatting with the crew of the Sex is Fun Podcast.


Gay Rick

Gay Rick is an HIV Educator and Co-Host on the Sex is Fun podcast. He is also a certified Hepatitis C Educator.



The in-house audio engineer.


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